Image via WikipediaGood relationships can be divided into the before intimacy and after intimacy stages. While poor relationships can also be split into two distinct stages: Before breakup and after breakup. There is a bit of dark humor there, because people sometimes think they are in one of the two good relationship stages until it's too late.Maybe that's why sadness, anger, guilt and depression are the emotions that turn your life upside down when trying to cope after a breakup. After all, your relationship was going along just fine, then, wham! You're put into a state of shock, because suddenly you're now trying to survive a breakup. Here are a few suggestions to help you get through this difficult time in a graceful manner.
One of the most helpful actions you can take is to find useful outlets for your time. While you may feel like punching a hole in the wall or other destructive things, they won't do anything to help. The key is to find positive ways to use your time. Stay active at work or with your other commitments. If your schedule allows, you can even add an activity or two. Just be careful to not overdo it. There is often a fine line between staying active and denial.
When enduring a hard time surviving after a breakup it is a common practice to isolate yourself in grief and indulge in self-pity but try to shake off the self-pity. It will lead you into dire straights. Eventually, you must interact with people and the sooner, the better! There's no other way around it.
Talk to a trusted friend, preferably one that doesn't talk to your ex. Having a trusted person listen to you will go a long way towards helping you deal with the unfit feelings you're experiencing. Even though friends do their best, sometimes they just aren't able to listen enough. You can take this idea to the next level by getting help from a professional or find a therapist. Some people don't leave the house or apartment because of the fear of embarrassment or ridicule but these professionals are there to help. Hopefully, your condition is not that severe, yet.
Forgiveness can be hard to release but it is necessary and liberating. If your ex was at fault, forgive them. What might be even tougher to do however is to forgive yourself. Whether it was really your fault or not isn't the point. Getting rid of the guilt trip is.
You may try to avoid the reality of it all but you will eventually have to face the fact that you went through a separation. Ultimately, this is the only way to get over your lost love completely. You can't ignore it forever. Bad stuff happens to good people, it's a fact of life. You must move on.
Feeling emotional discomfort after a breakup is normal. Staying attached to those feelings for a long time isn't healthy. Use the tips above to begin moving to a more positive state of mind. Once you do, you will be able to survive a breakup and move on to a bigger and better relationship.
