Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Survive a Breakup Advice - Dont Let a Relationship Breakup Get the Best of You

Friendship love and truthImage via WikipediaIt seems like every time we turn around there is a new book or magazine article about relationship breakup advice. The truth is that finding out the best way to survive a breakup is information virtually every one will need at some point in time. Whether you want to try to get your ex back, or just move on with as little pain as possible, it will take time. Having good friends around is good medicine for a troubled heart.

The length of the relationship often determines how long it will take you to move on after a breakup. Most of the time, though not always, the longer the relationship, the more memories and baggage you will have. Usually, this determines the length of time it will take for you to stop grieving. Hopefully, soon you'll want to meet someone new. If your partner cheated on you or did something worse, it will more often than not still take quite a bit of time for you to finally separate from them emotionally.

Even though we may wish we could at times, it's hard to just flip a switch and turn off all the good memories and emotional connections we had with this person for such a long time. You might need to edge away slowly, in baby steps, until finally you can stand on your own two feet again. One of the first steps in this process is to get away. Maybe not literally, but figuratively. Put away all the pictures and mementos the two of you collected during your time together. Don't call them or accept their call if they call you. You need time and space to sort out matters.

Everyone is different, for you it might be easier to have some friends come over and pack everything up all at once and put it in the attic. For others it may be easier to do it in small steps, a little each day until it's all out of sight. There is no wrong way, as long as it gets done. Even doing something like redecorating or painting may help you get the fresh perspective that will help you.

If you've been meaning to buy new furniture or paint the wall in the living room, now may be the perfect time. For one thing it will give you something to do, something positive that will keep your mind off the ex. Changing your surroundings will make it a little easier to forget and move on. I'm not saying that you should relocate but that is a viable possibility.

No one is suggesting that a coat of paint on the wall or a new couch will make all the pain go away, but it might give you something else to focus on and take away some of the things that will trigger the painful memories of the two of you watching movies or doing a sudoku puzzle on Sunday mornings. Those little memories of the seemingly unimportant times are the toughest to forget. The best relationship breakup advice I can give you is to keep moving forward with life. After a breakup, surround yourself with friends and family and hang in there, because this too shall pass.





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Sunday, July 18, 2010

Coping With a Broken Heart

Image via Wikipedia

Your first step when coping with a broken heart is... allow yourself to grieve. This is the beginning of the healing process. Don't forget, this too shall pass. Trust me, this grief will pass. Give yourself some time to sort matters out. After a few days you should find ways to take your mind off of the grief you're experiencing.

Do Something That Will Take Your Mind Off the Grief

Get in touch with some people you haven't seen in a while or go out with folks from work. It's crucial that you do something. Even if it is something that you've wanted to do but just haven't brought yourself around to doing yet. How about taking that vacation that you’ve been putting off.

Here's low-down, there are emotional stages you will go through following this loss. They will more or less go like this: sadness, anger, denial, hurt, and then acceptance.

Sure, sometimes a relationship ends and it is final.  Yes, you will feel as though you'll never be happy again but listen... with time your life gets even better than it was before, although you may not realize this now. Your feelings will change.

Treat the period of time after a hard breakup exactly as if that person had died. Allow yourself time for sorrow, then acknowledge the fact... it's time to move on.

You will need to look after yourself. Changes to your daily routine can help you focus on a new and better life. Join a local fitness program or a church group. Become more active get out there and meet new people.

Volunteer work is always good for the spirit, it will be good for you to deny yourself and help others. We tend to focus less on our own problems when helping others who are really in need. Your life will be different now so instead of living in uncertainty and fear, seize this opportunity with both hands. Who knows, something or someone better may just be over that next hill.

Do you believe that we only have one soul mate in life? Sure, partners who met when they were teenagers and who are still together in their senior years is great. But there are also many other couples that split-up with someone in the past and now have found happiness again.

People change throughout the course of a lifetime. Our significant other will change as well. As a couple we tend to adjust and stay together. But oftentimes relationships don't last a lifetime. One or the other partner will determine that they want something different. You may be heartbroken at first but when it's all said and done you can be just as happy if not happier with someone else.

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Saturday, April 17, 2010

Survive a Breakup - Come Out the Other Side a Stronger Person

Did you know that when you survive a breakup it gives you more self-confidence? Failures are great learning tools because you'll learn from your own or someone else's mistakes. As you begin your breakup recovery, why not focus on becoming stronger as you anticipate that next relationship in your life.

When you’re dedicated to improving yourself as a whole person, it just makes you more interesting and compelling to know.

While losing this relationship probably caused you heartbreak don't fret, your heart will heal. Try to concentrate on something that will prevent you from repeating mistakes that were made in the past. Surely, you don't want to go through them again. Here are some thoughts to think about, they can help you begin a new life after a breakup.

Become free from fear or doubt in yourself. In order to have a relationship that is strong, you must become more confident. Find ways to feel good about yourself by becoming a better you and help others feel good about themselves. If this new relationship is going to be fixed firmly, you will need to be stable.

Don't rely on the other person for security in your next romance. I'm not only talking about security as it relates to financial independence, also include security in the form of freedom from anxiety, fear and a guarantee that an obligation will be met.

I can honestly say that when you do rely on the other person for security, you're setting yourself up for a fall. If you've ever been dumped by a lover or employer, you can propably relate to what I'm saying. Find security in yourself. Not only will this help you feel confident, it will help you become more appealing to others.

Train yourself to listen better. Ask your new friend or honey for their opinions on certain matters such as fun stuff to do, favorite foods or their idea of a perfect relationship. Don't dominate the discussion. Be a good listener, reply with your own opinions when it's appropriate.

I'd also like to quickly point out that there is nothing wrong with a little humility. I know, people don't regard humility as a virtue but it has a way of preventing false pride. Believe it or not, having a disposition of being humble is actually a virtue. It's okay to laugh at yourself! Humility will not stick to a confident, humble person.

Keep in mind that you will survive a breakup and come out on the other side as a better, stronger and smarter person. You're more aware and prepared for a new relationship. The difference between success and failure hinges on what you learned from past mistakes.



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